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Richard Best

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Poems for My Mother [Nov. 8th, 2016|06:34 pm]
Richard Best
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In Memory of Diane Esther Best, née Cooper
October 2, 1941-November 3, 2016; 75
My mother is dying
Some facts are inescapable
The news hits like a sledgehammer,
Piledriving me down and
Suddenly I’m a little boy
A grown man, turning 54 later this year
(Should I manage to live so long),
And all of a sudden I’m a little boy who
who just
who wants his mommy
And between us, there is anger
And between us there is love
And there is not enough time to tease out those threads
To separate them from each other,
To bring the reconciliation I hoped might be possible
And some facts are inescapable and
Sometimes you just have to swallow hard
And take the whole thing as it is and
I am a grown man
Who is a little boy
Who wants his mom
My mother is dying
She’s gone
No more the suffering
No more the pain
It’s hard to imagine the spirit that inhabited such a frail shell
Flying high, or free, but
You go on ahead, mama
Don’t let my tears hold you down
I’m not planning to join you anytime soon,
But I’ll catch up to you
One of these days, and
You will be even more beautiful than ever you were here

[User Picture]From: m0n90053
2016-11-09 02:39 am (UTC)
3rd time through renal cancer; I didn't know about the first 2 until after
treatment might not have taken this time anyway, but she had some problems with necrotic tissue partway through and they stopped treatment for a while dealing with that, and after it was too late
it invaded her spine and also went somewhere that it was cutting off much of the circulation to her left arm and impinged on a nerve cluster there as well, so that she was in constant pain
the pain medication had her hardly coherent when she was conscious, but in her sleep it was like she was spooling off through her memories
my sister was her caregiver, has/had been for several years- also had been for her mother-in-law, who passed earlier this year
if you're the praying type, I could use an occasional thought, but my sister can use it even more
I mean, if you're reading this a couple of years later, we probably all made it alright, but for right now...
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